It was good!

I recently took a look at a friend's pictures she posted online. I guess her family spent their Thanksgiving holiday near some caves, and they took a tour of some kind to explore one of the caves. After looking through them I decided that caves are one of my favorite things that God created. 

I've always enjoyed nature. I grew up going camping almost every month. My family was introduced to it when I was in the 2nd grade, and even though our first experience washorrible, we took camping trips almost monthly until I was a freshman in college.  I also spent every summer of my college career working in the middle of an amazingly beautiful mountain range -- Sangre de Cristo. So I've grown up in the middle of nature. I've seen trees with trunks so big you were out of breath by the time you circled the whole thing. I've climbed mountains with views that are literally breathtaking. I've seen geysers that shoot up straight in the air like rockets. I've been in the middle of lightning storms that feel like the end of the world. I've touched dinosaur fossils, gigantic plants, glaciers, and animals of all kinds. I've seen numerous waterfalls and lakes. I've even been underground exploring some of the most amazing caves in our nation. And after everything I've seen, experienced, touched or smelled, I decided tonight that caves were my favorite God-creation. 

So, what is it about God's creation that is just so enchanting? Think about it -- this Earth is so beautiful. It's filled with deserts, rain forests, oceans, tundras, mountains, valleys, lakes, rivers, caves, etc, etc. All of it was created by God himself. He spoke and it was formed. And there's so much detail to this Earth, too! Have you ever studied the formation of stalagmites/stalactites?Or how powerful the tail of a kangaroo is? Earth and all creation is not just a surface thing. No, it goes much deeper than that (no pun intended). There are wonders to the wonders of this Earth. Even outside the Earth -- I mean, outer space just speaks for itself! And the greatest part? We are much more important to Him than this Earth! (Matthew 6:26) 

That's why all of this is so beautiful. The same beauty we see in a mountain sunrise or a cave millions of miles below the Earth's surface has the same beauty of God. Except God's beauty is so much more than we can imagine. I see the beauty of this Earth and think to myself, "God created this for temporary use... I wonder how God created Heaven -- a place for eternity?!" Pretty neat stuff, huh?

Book Review

My current book selection is UnChristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity by David Kinnaman. First, I've been reading it since September, and second, I'm only about 5 or 6 chapters in. 

If you don't know anything about the book, read this paragraph. If you already know, skip it. [Taken from Amazon.com] Kinnaman, the president of the Barna Institute, was inspired to write this book when Lyons (of the Fermi Project) commissioned him to do extensive research on what young Americans think about Christianity. Lyons had a gut-level sense that something was desperately wrong, and three years of research paints exactly that picture. Mosaics and Busters (generations that include late teens to early 30-somethings) believe Christians are judgmental, anti-homosexual, hypocritical, too political and sheltered. This is a wonderful, thoughtful book that conveys difficult truths in a spirit of humility. 

I wanted to write about a chapter that I currently finished reading.  I think what made me the most upset was the section about the views of young Christians today. You see, the following are moral issues that born-again young Christians (23-41) believe are morally acceptable:

cohabitation (59%)

gambling (58%)

sexual thoughts or fantasies about someone (57%)

sex outside of marriage (44%)

using profanity (37%)

getting drunk (35%)

looking at pics of nudity or sexually explicit behavior (33%)

having an abortion (32%)

have a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex (28%)

using drugs not prescribed for you (16%)

allowing the f-word on broadcast television (7%)

(Kinnaman, 2007)

Do we see something wrong? There are more people who care about stopping the f-word from national television than those who care about stopping homosexuality. Disturbing, I know. 

If I ever get the chance to have 12-14 teenage girls sitting in front of me again, this will be something I'd say -- Stop it. Cut it out. It's lame, and not worth it. Would that be enough, though? I wanted for so long to shake some girl's head and say, "QUIT IT!" Even sometimes I feel like a failure because I choose an action that makes my Christian lifestyle choice look "dirty." I hate it! But I guess the response to these criticisms about hypocrisy would be, "Hey, I'm a sinner. I've got this disease called sin. Gives me a lot of dis-ease, and I don't want it. But I can't get rid of it. Some days I'm going to choose to drink. Some days I'm going to choose to the right decision. Some days I'm going to curse, and some days I'm going to pray all day long. But every day I'm going to remember how the God I serve, Yahweh, saved me from the pit." 

Declaration!

Recently, I heard of a friend who carries around in his pocket a list of 100 things he wants to do before he dies. It was such an inspiring concept, that I decided to try and make my "100 things..." list to carry around with me as well. As I'm writing out as many things that I think I'd like to do before I do -- I start to think about the idea of writing out a motto for myself to live by. Thoughts like, "If I were to go to sleep tonight, and not wake up in the morning, what would people say about me at my funeral?" come rushing through my head, and while I'd like to think that people would be interested in reading about my conquests/ideas of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro or getting a tattoo, all in all, I'd much rather hear my friends, family, and even acquaintances stand up in front of everyone and talk about the type of woman that they thought I was. This is what led me to the thought of writing out motto for myself. 

I've been blessed to have had such great role models in my life. Some of the greatest role models I've had have been women, and almost every woman that I have worked with, learned from, listened to, or lived with has given me an example of the type of woman I want to be one day. The thing is -- I'm tired of me thinking that "one day" I'm going to magically turn into a collaboration of all the women who have affected my life in a positive way. I'm not going to wake up one morning and have Jan's trusting attitude or Aunt Lisa's selfless servitude. No, it's much harder to get there -- which is the reason why I've come up with this motto. This motto or paragraph is a description of the type of woman that I want to be. Something I can tangibly hold in my hand to help remind me that one day my friends, family, and colleagues will speak at my funeral, and that I don't want them to have to stretch any sort of truth about who I was.

I want to be that woman that is confident in herself. Who walks into a room and suddenly brings laughter, entertainment, peace, and gentleness all at one time. The woman who does so much for others, and rarely is seen doing much for herself. Who takes the time to appreciate what God has given her, not what God should be giving her. The friend who laughs when you laugh, cries when you cry, and everything else in between. The woman who takes care of those who need care, who loves those who need love, and shines Christ all the time for all people who see her. The woman who is carefully making and basing her decisions around what glorifies God, while also thinking about how her ministry to others can benefit from her decisions. The woman who is willing to deeply love and honor the man that God prepared for her, yet still holding her deepest love and honor for her first -- God. The woman who is nothing short of an excellent mother, not just to the public, but in her children's eyes as well. The woman who knows she's a sinner -- imperfect, impure, stained, and sinful -- yet still a beautiful daughter of the King. 

This is the woman I strive to be. This is the woman God will help me become. 

Religion and Politics

Considering this political race -- Have you ever been to Washington D.C.? When I was in 8th grade, I got the chance to take a summer trip there, and it was wonderful. I am so thankful that I have experienced the Lincoln Monument, the Washington Monument, the White House, Jefferson Monument, and other great places there. Thinking back, I didn't have much appreciation for everything we were being shown. Of course, I've got about 10 rolls of film lying around somewhere with at least 20 "different" pictures of the White House. However, looking back, visiting those places did not mean much to me as I believe it would now. It's one of the reasons why I love the National Treasure movies so much. Being so appreciative of all that went into the development of this country is quite moving, and I hope that I get the chance to experience Washington D.C. again with more appreciation and respect. 

I sometimes want to experience the same thing with places like Rome and Israel. I wonder what it would be like to walk around in Rome. To stand in a prison cell in Rome and think, "Paul himself praised the same God I praise here in this cell!" Or to be able to walk down a dirty busy old street in Israel and think to yourself, "My Jesus, my father, my life... he walked here." 

I desire to do that so much. I want to be so close to my Father -- all.the.time. A desire I believe I gained while at Camp Blue Haven this summer. I can remember exactly when I felt this feeling. It was 4th session Hobo Dinner Cookout night, and 4 high school groups (8 altogether) experienced a passover feast together in the barn. We moved all the chairs and about 80 of us sat in a circle and shared an intimate and thought provoking meal together. Afterwards we started to praise and sing worship songs in honor of what the Israelites might have done in a typical Passover meal. We turned off all the lights, and formed a huddle and crammed together... not any type of shape really, just tight-knit. I remember singing so loudly along with everyone else I could barely hear any one particular voice -- it was just one loud praise and cryout to God. It was at that moment... the moment I couldn't think of anything else but God; the moment when I didn't care about the girl behind me singing off-key; the moment when I had nothing left to give my own self because I had given it all to God... it was at these moments when I thought about for the first time in my life -- "I can't wait to go to Heaven. If Christ came back right now, I would be so excited." 

It was that thought, that moment, and that feeling that changed my entire life. I no longer am afraid to die, or to leave loved ones behind. No matter how many places I've called home, I'm not there yet. And I won't be satisfied as a Christian human being, until I'm in Heaven shouting, "Be to Our God" alongside my brothers and sisters who also obeyed and served our Lord while on Earth. It's an emotion I can't quite explain really, and when I do try to explain the emotion, nothing but tears come strolling down my face because I am filled with such contentment, joy, and peace. 

So as we watch and interest ourselves in this crazy political race, let's not forget who our true, and perfect Lord is -- Jesus Christ. Be to His name forever and ever, Amen!

sushi

This past Saturday a friend of mine, Cara, and I went and tried a new sushi place in Downtown OKC. The website for the place looked really awesome [www.sushineko.com] and we even had to make a reservation, but I wasn't too sure about it once I got there. I mean, the only times I've ever eaten sushi, I've been to the point of starvation -- meaning that whatever I ate (raw tuna, seaweed, rice, octopus, squid, etc, etc) would have tasted good. But this time -- no, this time -- I was eating sushi because I "liked" it. So what's the verdict?

I love it!! 

I'm just so glad I really honestly, truly love sushi! We split 4 different hand-rolls: Rainbow Roll, Spider Roll, Sassy Shrimp, and Tuna Roll. I was a BIG fan of the spider roll and sassy shrimp. I've had rainbow roll before, and liked it, but this past time I wasn't a fan. 

I bet most of you who have known me or think you know me are scratching your head and thinking, "Rachel does not seem like the adventurous eating type." And my reply is: "Yep, I am and I think that's what is going to make my future adventures in other countries so successful." If I had tried to live in another culture 4 years ago... I wouldn't be caught dead eating anything other than food I've already tasted and enjoy. But now, I'm game for almost anything! (well, except that rainbow roll :))

Time Machine

Well, another week has just flown by! I had dinner at Chipotle with a couple friends who are graduating with me in December, and we talked a lot about the fact that September is basically gone. Where did it go? At the same time, however, I've been feeling like time is passing very slowly. 

I've been making headway about future plans. I'm not really going to go into detail, because I feel like I touch on it so much, but just know, that I will be out of the country in a year's time. Whether I am in Mexico or Japan... it doesn't matter. I will be making some adventures for myself!

I've got a busy day tomorrow! Hopefully I can get everything done! Have a great weekend!

MmmBop!

I can't believe the weekend is already over! I had a great weekend, too! Starting on Thursday night, my social club (sorority-like club) had a rush event we call Masquerade. It's a lot of fun because all us girls can get dolled up! This year we had the event at a Mansion in Bethany, Oklahoma. It is such a nice house. I wish I had pics of the house, but instead, I have some pics of me and some friends at the event! 

Me, Alex, and Jenny

Alex and I doing the famous "Theta" pose!

Then Friday night, a group of us girls went to the Oklahoma State Fair. [FYI, TEXANS: This fair is nothing compared to the Texas State Fair. But it fills the void] We purposely planned to go on Friday night because Hanson was playing in concert that night! Now, if you don't know who Hanson is let me fill you in. Back in the day (oh, when I was in about 5th grade) there was a boy rock band called Hanson. It was three brothers from Tulsa, Oklahoma who sang hits like, "Mmmbop" and... well, basically that was it! You ever hear of the Jonas Brothers craze? The Hanson Brothers were on every 5th grade girls wall in poster form, and in every cassette player, too! Fast Forward about 10 years, and here's Hanson performing at the OK State Fair! I'll be honest, I don't think I was in love with them as much as I had thought... I barely knew any songs (about two!) and half the audience were kids who I know weren't even alive when Hanson was a popular band. However, we ended up about 5 rows from the stage, and we enjoyed listening to some new music. 

Japan

To Update all people who are interested:

I graduate in December of this year (3 months from now!) Anyone in the Edmond/OKC area that knows me is more than welcome to come!

What am I doing after graduation?

Good question. Right now, I am planning on applying to be an AET (Assistant English Teacher) in Japan. Want more information? I will be assisting an english teacher in a Japan school -- while getting paid! I'm basically hired by the Japanese government, and they pay $30,000 for a year's contract (about 10 months) -- TAX FREE! They pay for an apartment, airfare and vacation in October and January. I work in a classroom from 8am-5pm M-F. 

Why Japan? Why AET? How long will you be gone?

If I do two full contracts (20 months) I will most likely pay off all my loans for school. It would be fabulous to return to the USA after a couple years fresh and renewed from debts! The AET Program allows me to do this -- more than any other english teaching program. And if I do get accepted, I will be gone from Aug. 2009-June/July 2011. 

**Want more details?**

Please be praying for me as I apply for this position. Undergraduates all over different Christian campuses apply for this position, and I won't find out anything until January 1st. Please keep me in your prayers as I begin a long process of figuring out what to do with my life. Thanks!

Pictures!!

I got my new camera today! I ordered this about a week before my birthday (August 26th) so I've waited a while for this thing to get in! I'm so stinkin' excited!! I took 50 pictures with it today just playing with it, and let me tell you... it's a great Camera. I bought a Canon PowerShot SD750. A couple of my campers from 2nd session this summer had them, and I've wanted one for so long. Well, I got one and now I'm just so excited!! Here are a few pics I took today!

Pretty good quality pictures! Also, my friend (and neighbor) Alex and I have started our own cake decorating. There's been a few birthdays in my group of friends and we've been decorating some cookie cakes. I mix the frosting into different colors and Alex decorates. We've been pretty good so far! Here's the one we made today for my good friend, Ashley! She's 21, just in case you were wondering.

9/11

I remember the first time I watched Pearl Harbor. (You know, the movie with Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett.) I remember learning about WWI and WWII in history class. I remember learning about the Holocaust in 8th grade. I remember learning about The Alamo in 7th grade. I can go back as far as 3rd grade history -- story after story about the history of this world. But that's all they are to me... stories. But September 11, 2001 is not a story to me. It's something I experienced. Of course, I didn't live in New York City, and I don't even live anywhere close to the North East, but I can vividly remember everything about that day. From the early morning basketball practice to the time I laid down to sleep -- all of it is as vivid as the last 5 minutes. Sometimes I wonder, "What will I tell my children when they ask me about 9/11 after learning about it in school?" I remember asking my mother about the JFK shooting in Dallas, and I wonder if my children will be just as curious about 9/11 as I was about JFK. So, as we remember today, let's say a little prayer for those that were affected by the horrible event that happened 7 years ago. It's not cheesy to pray, and there are still people hurting from this event. May God bless all those who were directly involved with this incident, and may God continue to surround safety around all of us in this world.

Pray, also, for those affected by Hurricane Ike.

Growing Up

I think I just experienced a "growing up" moment tonight while grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. My roommate and I had an idea to get a month's worth of groceries and try eating "in" more than we eat "out" in order to save money. Well, after spending about 2 hours in the grocery store, we end up $100 more than what we thought we were going to spend. So basically, we thought it was going to be cheaper, however, the final price was not at all cheap. I loved the car ride home, though, when we tried to convince ourselves that it was worth it, and try and calm ourselves down before we just freak out. It was funny! I guess in a month I'll let you know whether it was financially wise or not. I sure hope so!

Technologic

You know, one of the perks of going to a wireless campus is the free laptop. **the laptop is not free but included in the tuition.** However, it was nice to not worry about buying one before I headed off to college about 4 years ago. Since then, OC's campus has just grown in the technology world. I think it has something to do with image. You see, we're ranked in the top 10 schools among technology magazines and newspapers. We've received recognition for having such an advanced state of education. Personally, I think it's great! And this past year, we all upgraded from DELL to Apple! I am now a proud owner of a MacBook Pro and a new iPhone! It's been the best buy in all my life, and I don't think I'll ever regret the purchase. Here's a picture (taken from my new iPhone):

Let's just say that I'm just so STINKIN' excited!! Also, new on the table is an opportunity to go to China and teach English about a year from now. I'm not saying I'm committing, but I'm considering it. It'd be pretty far from home, but I've always wanted to head over there and visit. If I did go, I wouldn't just be a tourist, but helping and working. **I could also pay my loans off in about 2-3 years**

I picked up The Shack the other day and started the first 5 chapters last night. Let's just say I'm already captivated. Please, no spoiling... but I sure hope it gets even better than what I read last night!!

Home again

I'm back on OC's campus for my last semester of undergraduate work. Let's just say I'm both scared and excited about it. I'll most likely fake excitement if anyone asks me about it, just FYI. I also got my new Macbook Pro this morning. I've been playing on it for about 3 hours now. I'm starting to feel unproductive so as soon as I finish this post, I'm out of here.

About a week or two ago, I started thinking about Moses. (You know, the guy who led the Israelites out of Egypt [with God's power] and wandered with whiney people for 40 years in the desert?) Yeah, that guy. In particular, I have been thinking a lot about the time the Israelites spent near Mount Sinai. I mean, what was it like for Moses to go up on the mountain time after time with God and in His presence, and just descend to a complaining community? I wonder what it was like for Moses to go through that. To me, I think it's very similar to the feeling I get after coming back from Camp Blue Haven. However, this past summer it was just different. I spent 10 weeks with God, yes, but I also spent 10 weeks with Christ living through others I worked with. Incredible doesn't even begin to describe the experience I had there this past summer. And now, as I came down the mountain, I can't help but wonder and worry about how God is going to use me. At the same level as I was used at Camp Blue Haven? That's the exciting part! I am now looking for areas here in the "world" to reach out to those who need Christ's love and example shown to them. I sure hope He reveals it to me quickly though...

What do you do with your time?

I wish I had a neat trade. I just finished watching Billy Elloitt (which I would recommend to only those who can take 2 hours of English accents and curse words every other sentence), and I really would love to pick up a new trade. I love to read, so maybe I'll join a book club or something. I read a couple good books this summer (mainly for entertainment reasons) but, nevertheless, they were quite interesting.

The first book I read was called "Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliott. Now, before you go raising your eyebrow on why I was reading this book, my old roommate, Kelsey, let me have it and told me to read it about a year before I actually did. Out of guilt, I opened it up and read a few pages every now and then. It wasn't until this summer that I really began to the read the book -- and it's very good! Elizabeth Elliott was the wife of Jim Elliott, a famous missionary (ever seen End of the Spear?). It's the story of how these two met, waited, and married each other within an 8 year time span. It's really good, and as one who is being surrounded by friends who are engaged, married, or just about to be, it was a beneficial read. I'd recommend it to anyone looking to get married -- whether you've met the "One" or not.

The second book I read was called "This Beautiful Mess: Practicing the Presence of the Kingdom of God." I can't remember the author off the top of my head, but I did enjoy the read. At camp, we studied the book of Mark and the life of Jesus. It was a great study, and this book really opened up my eyes to idea of God's Kingdom. Using different parts of Jesus' ministry and call to live in the Kingdom of God, this book was a great way to realize what kind of world we as Christians are actually in. You see, our King is a perfect King. Our leader is not corrupt, selfish, impatient, ignorant, or prideful. He is perfect. Coming from a world where government is corrupt should only make us long to be in Heaven one day in that glorious Kingdom. But the Kingdom is here on earth as well. It's what we're called to do --"on earth as it is in Heaven..." Anyway, this is a great read. I don't agree with his theology or boasting about how "good" his church is (by the way, it was written by a preacher...), but the thoughts he presents are interesting.

So, maybe I will read some more interesting books this fall. I'm hoping to get on that job search for the semester... any ideas?

Eanie, Meanie, Minie, Moe...

I'm taking a break from unpacking all of my camp gear and junk. First, I've learned I don't like to throw away anything. I believe I've gained this wonderful habit from my grandmother. There's just a little part of me that cringes every time I throw away a note or a pack of water balloons. I know, I know... I'm a little out of control, but I guess that's just me.

I'm starting my last semester of my college career in a little over a week. I'm enrolled in 12 hours (which is the smallest I've ever had in one semester at OC), but 3 hours I've already taken I'm just enrolled in the course so that I'm not a part-time student. So basically, I have 3 3-hour courses on Tuesday and Thursday giving me the chance to find a full or part-time job to save up some money for when I graduate. What am I doing after graduation? Wow... good question. I don't even know the answer. I have a few options to explore, though:

1. HIM program: 2 year commitment to work with missionaries in another country. I'd train in the Spring in Edmond, then possibly leave May, mid-summer or August.
2. Move to Lubbock, Grand Prairie, or Abilene and find a full-time job until the summer or fall.
3. Enroll in a spanish course at a university in Monterrey, Mexico. To prepare me for teaching Spanish in the middle school level.
4. Be a bum...


Haha, ok that last option doesn't ever happen. Anyway, over the next month or so I'm going to be making some important decisions for my life. I'm praying hard that I will allow God to lead me to the right place, however, I'm one that believes that God gives us choice and then will work through us in whatever we choose. Usually, I hate making choices, and I'll make a decision based on a coin-toss. I'll just close my eyes and whatever I point at, that's what I'll do. Not so with this... however, as scary as it is to think about, I'm going to try and enjoy myself for a little while before I begin to choose. Because just thinking about it stresses me out too much. For example, I'm already stressing out about it now...

Sparkling Streams and Soft Winds

If you haven't noticed I've been away from the internet for the past couple months. This summer I got the chance to work as a camp counselor at a church youth camp called Camp Blue Haven in the mountain ranges of New Mexico. Since so much happened while I was out there I'll update you with a quick Top 10 list... I might have to make it Top 20.

20 Best Moments of Camp Blue Haven, Summer 2008:
1. Counselor Training Week First Aid video
2. 2nd Session Blue Haven Players
3. SHC 2nd and 4th Session
4. 5th and 6th grade All-Day Hikes (Old Camp Blue, Echo/Lookout Point, Grindstone Springs)
5. Camp session banquet meal: poppy seed chicken!
6. 6th session Early Christian Worship prep
7. The entire cabin of 2nd session
8. Climbing the dining hall roof 4th session
9. Hobo dinners. cookouts, and rice krispie treats!
10. My new girls 5th session!
11. Christmas in July!
12. CBH Staff 2008 Closing Camp Retreat
13. Mattberly (hee-hee)
14. Daft Cabin 11
15. Telling the mountain lions to "Go to sleep!"
16. 6th session sleep out nights (both of them!!)
17. Michael Crouch, Luke Connally, Leland Rose, Matt McCall, Grant Tosh, Nathan Goodnight, Greyson Holt, and Devin Calhoun
18. Britni Johnson, Micah Bayles, Shari Vance, Kasey Dobbs, Leah Pursch, Jenna Burton, Kim Powell, Kathryn Warder
19. The Fab 5 -- The Camp's, McCoy's, Dobb's, Wiggain's, and Brunson's
20. Date nights 6th session


Alright, so I think I could go on for another 10 more, but I'll spare you. But simply put, God just made the entire summer about Him. For 10 weeks I spent every day with God -- walking with Him, talking with Him, crying with Him, and seeing His power in all the nature, worships, lessons, people, and staff I came across this summer. Thanks to all who were praying for me while I was out. I wish that I could sit with each and every one of you and tell you in detail exactly what I'm feeling about the summer. But for now, I ask that you pray that I can focus on this next semester and that God will guide me in the next 3/4 months.

Enjoyment

Things I loved about the month of May:

1. Cinco de Mayo weekend with the family (From GP to Brownwood, the entire weekend turned out to be a blessing to us all)
2. Mother's Day with mom, grandma, aunt Lisa, and others...
3. Spending almost two weeks with Hillary
4. Bonding with my brothers, Lucas, and Roman
5. Snowballs with my Dad.
6. Ice-cold, juicy watermelon
7. Oklahoma and all that entails
8. TOMS -- 4 children who needed shoes now have them.
9. Memorial Day weekend with Cara and Texas Roadhouse fun
10. Forgetting what it feels like to be extremely tired...


Thanks to all who made my month of May one of the best months I've had in a long time!

Blessings...

Rachel

Time on my hands...

I had some free time on my hands so I wrote this. I know it's lengthy, but take the time to read it. I consider it some of my best work. The idea isn't original, but my writing is.


Jacques was a simple man. A man who had loved a woman so deeply that when she became terminally ill, all he wanted to do was lie beside her and take her place. Instead, he vowed to protect, raise, and love their only son, Chandler, to the fullest extent. He was a superbial father -- bike riding on Saturdays, pancakes on Sunday mornings, bedtime stories turned into legendary tales, and brushing their teeth no longer seemed like a tiring habit. You see, Jacques put all of his devotion and time into his son. From the outside, one could see that raising his son was almost a therapy for dealing with the loss of his one and only true love -- his wife. The only other passion he ever felt was for his work. Jacques worked as the bridge conductor for the railroad near the county bridge. When a boat needed passing through, it was Jacques' responsibility to clear the bridge. When a train needed tracks to race through, Jacques was at full service. Jacques found peace and serenity knowing that he was in charge of saving people's lives. If it weren't for him, he'd think, then there would be thousands and thousands of wrecks and fatalities.

Sara Billows, a brown haired, light-skinned woman, grabbed the train ticket from her dresser along with a bottle of pills and a tiny clear plastic bag with a white powdery substance inside. She had hoped that one day she could drop her drug addiction, but every time she tried to escape, it only dragged her deeper into it's dangerous and addicting web. As she stepped into the hallway of her small, dirt-filled apartment, she wondered whether that blunt of a husband would chase after her, only to beat her once more until she would agree to continue buying and selling drugs for him. "He won't follow me, " she thought, "Not this time."

It was a particularly cold morning when Jacques stepped outside for the morning paper. Inside was his son eating away at soggy corn flakes, swinging his feet off the chair and singing the newest song he had learned in his first grade class. "Father, may I go to work with you today?" Jacques turned to his son, smiling softly, "You do know that is the 5th time you've asked me that, don't you?" His son grabbed his father's arm and planted himself into his lap. "And I know that this time you'll say yes," his son replied. With a tiny laugh, Jacques hugged his son, and knowing that his answer would make Chandler's week, whispered a yes into his ears.

It was a long walk inside the train station for Chandler. Eventually, Jacques would have to pick him up and carry him the rest of the way to the control station for the bridge. Walking past the 7am train, there were so many different kinds of people preparing for the train ride. People rushing onto the train, some with children, others without. There were couples canoodling outside the train doors, and couples barely even walking next to each other as they took their seats. Some would arrive in their seats feeling lost, angry, jealous, selfish, or hurt, all going about their own lives. But it was Sara who caught the eye of Chandler in the arms of his father. There were many times when she had asked her husband for a child, but seeing as he was only using her for drug money, a child wasn't ever in the playbook for him. She always thought that having a child would have been a redemption for her. That only the love for her own child would bring her to escape the wretched life of a drug addict. All of these feelings happened in a moment as Sara and Chandler caught each others eyes. Looking back, Jacques noticed the woman Chandler was staring at. Moving his head in the opposite direction, the moment shared between the two was vanished.

There was a tiny clearing near the edge of the pond, and Chandler was becoming restless in that tiny control room. He had already learned all about how the buttons worked and was even shown how the chains suspended the bridge to prepare for boats to pass through. It was a marvelous sight to see! However, as all 8 year olds get, Chandler needed more. "Father, I see a clearing near the edge of the river, may I skip rocks for a bit?" Agreeing, Jacques also mentioned that Chandler was to stay in that one area only.

As the last morning boat passed through under the suspended bridge, Jacques felt it was almost lunch time. "Chandler, let's have lunch," Jacques called out, but it was never heard. The sound of the train horn from afar sent Jacques running to the control station. He didn't even notice Chandler's jacket hanging near the chains for the bridge operations. Once inside the operation room, however, the view through the window sent him screaming from inside out. He saw Chandler's jacket near the bridge chains. Then it hit him. If he didn't press the control button to lower the bridge, the train would wreck and hundreds of people would die. Yet, if he did lower the bridge, the chains would set in motion, grab his son, and crush his tiny body, killing him in a brutal and shameful way. It was the single most challenging decision to ever have been made, and all within seconds.

As Jacques pressed the button to lower the bridge, he immediately ran outside of the control room hoping to save his son, but it was too late. The chains had crushed and killed him. The rescued train passed by, but not without Jacques at its side screaming and wailing in anger and sadness. Sobbing and wheeping, screams of pain and anger all rushed out of Jacques' body. Every part of him wanted to take back what he had just done -- killing his one and only son. Men should be killed themselves for committing such acts. It was the fact that no one inside the train was able to understand his pain that angered him the most. Because inside the train were people sitting there. Som with children and some without. There were couples cuddling together in their seats and some couples facing opposite directions. People who were lost, jealous, angry, or hurt. But it was only Sara who had looked outside the train window at that very moment.

Recognizing him from earlier that morning, she saw him standing there sobbing, crying out "my son! my son! my son!" There was something about the way he was acting that touched Sara's heart. Even though she couldn't hear a single word or cry from him, it was as if she could feel his pain and anger. In her heart, she knew he had just suffered from a great and terrible loss -- at her expense. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she dropped the pills and powder from her hands down into the sink.

.......

Several years had passed since that moment. Jacques had moved to a new town, had a new job, but still empty from that terrible day. The pain never left him. There was always that one toy or one child who reminded him of Chandler, and the pain would re-surface once again. Every morning, Jacques would eat at the local pancake cafe in memory of his son. Sitting at the corner booth next to the windows, a brown haired, light skinned woman walked through the cafe doors with a toddler boy in her arms. "It was her. The woman at the train station, the woman in the train window from that day," Jacques thought. As she sat in the booth next to his, they caught eyes and she immediately knew, "It's him," she thought. Shyly, she sat in the bench across the table from Jacques with her son playing with his toys and sitting next to her. She softly smiled.

After a moment of tear filled eyes from both of them, she spoke softly, "Your son's life saved mine. I'll never forget that day." With a tremble and quiver in her voice she continued, "It was your son who redeemed me from the pit. He is my angel." Swallowing back his tears, Jacques smiled back at the woman.... and grabbed her hand.

Child-like

There's something encouraging about a child's faith. You see them put so much trust in the hands of those that take care of them -- like an instinct. The great thing is that as parents, guardians, and family of this child who is reaching out to us, we can't help but find a real joy in the fact that they rely on us. One of my favorite things is to see Roman reaching out to me to be held, comforted, loved. He wanders around and plays on his own, but it's as if he knows that no matter what happens (whether good or bad), we'll take care of him.

As Roman grows older, he's going to learn how to become dependent upon himself. He'll learn to take care of himself by working and paying for his own food, shelter, needs, and wants. You see, he takes care of himself, yet, will he still know that we will still take care of him? Does he know that whether something good or something bad happens, we'll always be there for him?

When I think about all of this, I think about my relationship with God. I find myself longing for a relationship with God as if I were a child. I want to reach out to Him whether I'm feeling good, or I'm feeling bad. I want to know, no matter where or what I'm doing, that God is there for me always. You see, how many times do we reach out to God? How many times are we satisfied when we decide to rely on God? I go through so many different struggles and trials in my life and yet, it's easier to call a close friend than to talk to God about it. Even when I do decide to come to God about it, I feel better after talking to my close friend than with God. I understand why Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me..." It is the children, the ones who have so much trust in being taken care of, that are closest to God.

2 More Weeks...

That's right -- 2 more weeks and I'll be sitting on my couch in Abilene, TX playing with my little brothers and spending time relaxing. Until then, I'll just finish up a few papers, study for some tests, and spend time with friends who are graduating this semester or aren't returning to Edmond. It's really weird to think that I've spent almost 4 years here in Edmond, OK. I have one more semester of classes, but as I finish up my classes for my major, I realize that this isn't a permanent life for me. I've still got a whole other life to live -- post-graduation; post-marriage; post-success; post-career; post-children, and the list could go on and on...

I find myself trying to freak my parents out with this thought that they will have a 22 year old college graduate daughter; however, it doesn't seem to phase them. Maybe they aren't showing me their feelings about it, but inside, I want them to freak out and care about the fact that their first child and daughter is going to soon be an adult. Are they sure they raised me right? Are they sure that I can fend for myself? Are they sure that they can trust God to take care of me instead of them taking care of me? All of these questions I want my parents to be asking, are questions I think I ask daily to God during my prayer time. Finding trust in God that He'll take care of everything is something so hard for me to understand and actually do.

Since Freshman year, I've taken the month of May to relax and rejuvenate for the upcoming summer at Camp Blue Haven. Being a camper, potwasher, cook, and counselor has helped me understand the importance of being in full energy near or before the summer. This May, I'm a little tight on schedule. I have been talking with Memorial Rd. Church of Christ and OC about the possibility of doing missions through the HIM (Helpers In Missions) program. I've been doing a lot of praying these past few months about where God wants to place me as far as mission work, and I recently had a talk with the college minister here at Memorial Rd. about going to Piedras Negras, Mexico for 2 years. There are a few problems that we could run into, but for the most part, it looks as if Memorial Rd and OC are going to work with me on this. I've been thinking about Piedras Negras for about a year now, and as I come closer to graduation, I'm singling down to one ministry and one place to minister for the next 2 years.

I ask that you keep me in your prayers still. With the last week of classes and finals week, I'll need all the prayers I can get!! I love you all!!

Castle Made of Sand

Here at school I am actively involved in a social service club, Gamma Rho. I was inducted into the club in the Spring of '06, but I wasn't fully active until the Fall of '06. The club is a great way to meet new girls and grow together as a sisterhood and as Christian women. Some of my best friends have come from this club, so I don't regret any decisions or commitments I've made in the past in order to stay involved with Gamma.

Last night, we had our Spring Banquet. We have two banquets every year (one in the Fall and one in the Spring). The Fall banquet is more laidback while the Spring banquet is considered a formal. Both are a lot of fun, plus it's an excuse to get that cute guy to hang out with you for the night. Last night we had our banquet at Castle Falls in Oklahoma City. We had planned on going on a dinner cruise, however, two weeks before banquet, they called and said the boat won't be ready by banquet weekend. Let's just say that we were very upset. However, last night turned out to be one of the best banquet's I've been to in my years in Gamma.

Every year at banquet, we have a ceremony that involves thanking our sponsors, our officers, and handing out various awards. The three main awards are Intramural MVP's, Gammie of the Year, and Woman of the Year. Each intramural sport we play, we nominate and vote an MVP for each team. Last year, I won overall MVP for Gamma. This year, I won Football MVP as Rachel "Cyclone" Almanza. They even put that on my trophy! It was exciting! The Gammie of the Year award is an award that Gamma votes to the sophomore or new Gamma member that represents Gamma Rho. This year, Chelsea Baker, my roommate, won the award. I couldn't have voted for a better person to represent the sophomores of Gamma. The Woman of the Year award is a very special award. This award goes to a senior who is voted based on being an active part of Gamma and really represents the social club, Gamma Rho. It's a very high honor to recieve this award, and when they called out my name last night as Woman of the Year, I couldn't believe it! I've never felt more excited and honored to recieve such an award. It really is something that I'm proud to have recieved. They presented me with a beautiful Bible with my name engraved on it. It was such a sweet and awesome thing to have recieved.

The entire night was just excellent. We had deliscious food, fun music, lots of pictures, and the group I went with was the best group I've been with to a banquet out of all my years in Gamma. My date was Ryan Harper, and he was really a great date! I'm glad that he could get out of baseball practice early so that he could pick us up and take us out to the Castle. After banquet we all went to see the movie Leatherheads. I can't tell if it's because we saw the movie so late, or because it was generally a horrible movie, but it was just awful. I was highly disappointed with all of the hype.

What a great way to start off my weekend. I hope the rest of the weekend is good for me. After a really hard week at school, I'm so glad that I was able to unwind today. I'll be ready for another hard week come Monday, but right now, I'm going to gloat and gleem in my happiness.

God Bless...

Post-Spring Break

After a hard transitioning week back from Spring Break, I decided I'd take a trip to Lubbock to visit a close friend. Not that this week was horrible (that will be this coming week), but a lot happened and is happening that I just needed another break to take me away from it all. I've been working on a Senior psychology experiment for basically 9 months, now, only to come home from Spring Break to find out we lost about 10-13 subjects data. That's costing us our chance of winning the conference and using this for Grad School applications. I'm also just really fed up with my partner. Our schedules just don't work for us to both work together on anything. On top of this news, I also have been working through some rough work in the area of boys. Just another let down, and I'm not necessarily worried over it, but it was just another thing to bring to the table when my table's already full. On top of all of this, I'm realizing there is only 4 more weeks of school left (including finals) and I'm nowhere near the level of ready that I need to be. Prayers would be appreciated!!

In other news, I'm making some new steps about future plans. As most of you know, I'm graduating this December ('08) and then afterwards ________________________.
(I sure wish I could finish that sentence.) I've been praying about a lot of different options. Mostly I feel that I will more than likely be doing mission work somewhere. I know I would like to teach English to children, and possibly work with the youth and children at a church in another country. There are a couple of options, and they all have their pros and cons, but I just can't seem to pick one. I've made the goal for myself to kind of choose one path before the summer, and so far, I'm not there yet. Also be praying about this!

Once again, the trip to Africa is still lingering in my mind. I've told just about everyone I've talked to about my experience on the trip, and so I'm just now starting to feel ok about being home. Please continue to pray for the missionaries and children over in Tanzania.

God bless...

"Around the Corner"

Now, let me tell you about the entire Tanzanian Spring Break:

We (the missionary team) spent our days working at the private elementary school, Hannah's Nursery, teaching english (numbers, letters, colors, animals, etc) and playing with the kids. During their break, they would go out and play and then sometimes sing us songs. At the end of their day (which was around 11:45pm) we would teach them a bible story. We taught stories like David and Goliath, Jonah, Daniel and the Lion's Den, and the Good Samaritan. Once school let out around lunch time, we would eat lunch and then head to the Orphanage. It was so sad to head there. To be completely honest, I don't think I could handle it very well. What the kids there really needed was a a medical mission team to go bandage them up. They had cuts that were infected, little ones like we usually get, but since they never fix them up, they were infected really badly. When we got to the Orphanage, we usually sang VBS songs, and then acted out stories like the ones we did at the school. We usually gave out the candy to the kids in the orphanage.

In the evenings, we would usually go to a local resturuant. The money exchange was $.90 to 1,000 shillings, but everything was so high priced. One dinner meal was around $10 US dollars. Water was more expensive than soda so I drank TONS of soda while I was there. On Friday wen traveled to Arusha and went to the market, and then Saturday we went on the Safari in the Crater Park. We saw tons of animals, and I'll never look at zoo's the same again!!

All in all it was an excellent trip. I've been on many mission trips throughout my entire life, but I've never felt such a longing to be back in Africa than I have for any other place I've done mission work. Maybe it's because it's only been a day or two since I've been back, or maybe it's because I fell in love with Africa, but I can't stop thinking about that place and how much I want to go back. If anything, it's made me ready to be in the mission field. Like I've said before, I've learned that I don't care where I am, I want to find myself working as a missionary with children.

Here's the cliff I jumped off of into the water. It's not even the entire jump!!

T.I.A.

This
Is
Africa

TIA is the most common slogan or ananoym that I could use to describe my experience so far on this trip. Not only is it used very frequently here in Africa, but is also very, very true. After an excrutiating 22 hour flight to Tanzania, and 4 hours of sitting in my own sickness (don't ask), we finally arrived to the Tanzania airport. We were welcomed by heat, humity, and the infamous blackout in the luggage claim area! Oh, also the missionary, Brent Richardson, picked us up and we began our TIA journey!

What we had planned for Saturday was a ladies seminar up Mt. Kilimanjaro, however, once we got there, we found out that through miscommunication, the seminar was cancelled, and so began our first TIA. We roamed through the mountain and had a short, but very interesting, bible study with a man who was very confused on the difference between church and demoniation. As we left, I thuoght to myself, "How many different things involving the church do I get confused about? Or how many things am I ignorant about because I don't simply open up my Bible and read God's Word for myself?!" It was humbling, to say the least, but also just amazing to sit and have a study with someone.

Since the seminar was cancelled, the Richardsons took us to these waterfalls. All the young kids were talking about this 60 foot drop off into the water, and begged us to go and try it out. I pretty much decided there was no way on Earth I'd be jumping off 60 foot cliff edges, but when we got there, I thought, "TIA" When is the next time I'll get to do this. Once we got to the top of that cliff, I sure wasn't thinking that anymore. The adrenaline was pumping, my heart was jumping out of my chest, and as soon as I took that last step off the cliff, I knew I'd never be able to take it back. For those of you who have never jumped off 60 foot ledges let me give you some advice -- No matter what you jump into, you are going to get hurt. And, ladies and gentleman, I walked away from that daredevil move with a bruised sternum and a sore neck and back. However, the story has a good ending because it only lasted a day and a half.

Today we went to Hannah's Nursery where we taught the children's classes. I knew today was going to be a little chaotic and rough since we didn't know exactly what we'd be doing, but by the end of the "day" (they got out at 11:30) I felt pretty confident that tomorrow would be better. In the afternoon we went to an orphanage and played with the kids. They were just about the cutest things I've ever met, and they all wanted a picture of themselves, so don't worry, you'll see some soon.

This trip has been amazing so far and it's only still the beginning. It's opened up my eyes to let me see what kind of suffering and trials others go through. It opened up my strength and courage to allow me to come out of my comfort shell and do something new and exciting. It's opened up my heart and reminded me of my love for the mission work of God. And it's opened up my mind, and let me understand that God has amazing things planned for me. I'm excited for the rest of the trip. I don't know if I'll have another opportunity to write again from Africa, but continue to pray for me. Once I get back, I intend to write up a full report letting you know all the great things being done here in Tanzania. Love and miss you all!

God Bless...

PS: the singing on Sunday was simply AMAZING! God blessed the people here in Africa with amazing voices. Seriously, it was breathtaking.

Baptism

I've been asked to write a excrutiating paper in Senior Bible Seminar. My topic? Proper Baptism should be considered a "test of fellowship." It's a 1500 word paper that involves me having to re-word, paraphrase, quote, and opinionate 5-10 sources, half of them must NOT be from the internet. So, you see, last night, I decided to get to 1,000 words and do the rest later today. I only got to 976. I felt as if I was saying the same thing over and over again. The problem is that our library database doesn't cover many articles worth using in my paper, and I have to debate my opinion or stance on the issue on Tuesday. While I've spoken in front of an audience my entire life, I've never felt more nervous about this presentation. You see, there are these two Bible majors who sit in the back. They are constantly challenging the professor as well as those who dare to speak up in class. I'm worried about getting up there, giving my case or stance, and then being ripped apart by those two... PRAY FOR ME!

3 whole days of school left before Spring Break! I can't think of a better word to describe my excitment than -- WHOOO HOOO!!! I'm so excited about Africa and I can't wait to get there. I got an email this morning from Greg telling me there was going to be a ladies' seminar the day we get there and was asked to prepare a lesson or two on some really good topics. I'll discuss more of them later this week. Right now, I've got class!!

Tired...

There are a few things I'm tired of: I'm tired of my research experiment. I'm tired of school projects. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of working out weekly and not seeing results. I'm tired of sitting in my apartment on Saturday nights wishing I had a boyfriend. I'm tired of not getting to hang out with friends.


Ok, I had to get that off of my chest. It was seriously cramping my entire night. I've been thinking lately -- I've got a list of occupations I'd like to do in my lifetime, and I'd like to write them out for you guys:

1. Missionary for 2-5 years
2. Middle School Spanish Teacher (preferably in a private-school)
3. Middle School Volleyball/Basketball coach (while I teach Spanish)
4. Children's Minister
5. Marriage and Family Therapist

So, there's my list. I've got 5 occupations I'd like to do before I die. I'm hoping that the first four will take 13-15 years after I graduate. If I'm 21 when I graduate, that means I need to hit Grad School when I'm 36. Now, I don't think that's too late. I actually think I'd enjoy it more.

Let's change topics: I bought two potential banquet dresses today from ROSS. My friend, Alex and I went today and tried some on. They were really cheap and if I don't like them, I'm just going to take them back.

Well, my bed calls me... let's hope I can clean the apartment before my roommates come back! God Bless...

Whoa...

This past week was one of the hardest weeks I've ever gone through since I started school here in the fall of 2004. I don't think I went to bed before 3am any day this week. AGH! I don't know if I just put everything off until after Spring Sing or there really was SO MUCH HOMEWORK/PROJECTS due this week, but I haven't been this stressed in a LONG time. Having such a tiring week makes me look forward to sleeping in on Saturday.... ahhhh, the bed.

Both of my roommmates went to Tulsa this weekend. My roommates this semester are not the same as last semester and they are about 2 years younger than me. It's kind of rough at times, but we do get along great. Anyway, they are gone, and I'm here at the apartment all by myself this weekend. PARTY!! Nah, I'm just kidding. I'll probably order chinese, rent a movie, and sit on the couch tonight and enjoy this nice relaxing time. I don't know about you, but it sounds like a great plan to me!

Tomorow is one of my best friends birthday so I'm going to make him a nice cake or something. He'll be 22 tomorrow.... THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE! Earlier this week I had a conversation with Melia and Jill in the Caf about how "old" we were getting. Melia brought up that we were 7 or 8 years away from 30. It didn't sound that bad, but then Jill said, "When we're 25, we'll be 5 years away from 30!" I know it's just worded the same way, but I've never been more freaked out than I did at that table (If you have been paying attention in this post, you'll have noticed I've been having a lot of firsts this week).

It's so unreal to think that as one year after another goes on, I'll eventually hit 30. Then more years will pass and I'll be turning 40. I can't even imagine myself getting to that point! Then I start to wonder -- will I even be married by 30?! As the Spring comes, and more of my friends are looking forward to graduation, I can't help but psyche myself out. "What am I going to do after I graduate?" "Will I have to start all over again once I move away?" "Will I ever see that person again after I graduate?" "Will I meet anyone worth being in a relationship after I leave this place?" Question after question comes into my head, only putting me closer and closer to being all-out, 100% scared of graduating and having to change my life AGAIN! But, I guess that's how life is going to be? I'll move from one milestone to the next in my life and have to start all over. If I'm not careful, I can get real Debbie-Downer right now...

Let's end this post on a lighter note: I bought some Chaco's this week! I decided I could use them in Africa, Camp Blue Haven (which is where I'll be again this coming summer!!), and Mexico. They're supposedly really comfortable and since the strap is woven through the sandal, they snug right on your foot. I'm looking forward to wearing them while I'm in Africa. Today was slightly warm enough to wear them out, so I did! I'm growing to like them day by day! Here's a picture of what they look like:

God Bless...

Prepare for this...

In 8 days, I will be boarding my plane to begin my 2 day journey across the world into a forgeign land most people like to call Africa. I'M SO EXCITED!! I can't believe that it's almost a week until I start this journey I've been praying about since October!

It's amazing to see how much God has let me grow in order to prepare for this trip. Near October, I prayed about my financial support. He took care of that really quickly, and I'm so thankful to Him for giving me friends and family who love and support me in the things that I choose to be involved in. As I start to prepare physically for the trip -- packing skirts, light t-shirts, sandals, toiletries, candy for the kids, etc -- I am beginning to prepare myself mentally and spiritually for the trip also. I've been asked to teach one ladies bible class as well as some children's classes while we're at the orphanage. I'm excited about getting the chance to do this! At the same time, it's a little nerve-racking! Greg has told us that the church in Africa is still in its infant years spiritually, and I'm trying to pray and ask God what words He wants said while we're over there.

All in all, I'm ready to get there. I'm ready to play with the children. I'm ready to spend an entire week serving and learning the church there in Tanzania. I'm ready to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ who I hope I will one day reunite with in Heaven. I am in love with serving through missions. This semester I've been reading through Rick Warren's, "A Purpose Driven Life." Even though it's in spanish and required for me to read in my spanish course, I've really tried to ask God what my purpose is. God has spoken to me -- through scripture, convictions, friends, family, and examples -- that my purpose is to be a counselor. Now, you're thinking, "Well, you are in school to be a therapist, are you really sure this is what God's purpose is for you?" I'd answer that with a simple and quick, "YES!" In the book by Rick Warren, I'm here on earth to serve, minister, disciple, obey God, and follow Him. God has prepared me -- since I was a child -- to be a counselor. What does that mean? It means that in whatever or wherever I am, I am a counselor. Whether I am at Camp Blue Haven serving and ministering to young girls, I am a counselor. Whether I am in Mexico working at an orphanage or the children of the church, I am a counselor. Whether I'm a children's minister at a local church in the States, I am a counselor. Whether I'm spending time with friends or talking to them on the phone, I am a counselor. That is what God has prepared me to be, and that is what, after prayers and meditation with God, I know God has called me to be. Now that I've written a section of my spanish paper in this blog...

I hope that you all will continue to keep me and the group in your prayers. Pray that we will be kept safe throughout the entire week (and even afterwards!). Pray that we will be able to be good examples to everyone we come in contact with. Pray that the group will get along with each other and we will be able to not only bless the people in Africa, but each other as well. May God bless you...

First and Foremost

I must confess... These web blogs don't always work out for me. There's something a little weird about putting my thoughts, feelings, and opinions on a website for the whole world to view. I guess it's a little strange on my part to think that the whole world would actually view my blog, but just the slight chance of some random person reading my blog gives me the creeps.

So you may be asking yourself: "If she doesn't like web blogs, then why did she start one?" Well, my friends, that is a great question. I've got many many reasons why I've decided to start my own blog. First, I would like to think that if I gave this website out to my family, it would be a great way to keep in touch with them. Not only would they be updated regularly on what is going on in my life, but when I do visit them in person, there won't be any waste of time trying to explain the past month or two-- they'll have already read about it! Second, I will be going on a few short-term missions in the next few months or year, and I'd like to give this website out to keep my supporters updated on what's going on with all of that. And finally, I started up this web blog to keep me on top of things. I've noticed that I have a lot of thoughts, opinions, and feelings on certain issues. Maybe people will be reading this, and maybe they won't, but I feel like I can channel or voice these thoughts and opinions so I don't keep bottling them up inside. All I have to say is that you shouldn't judge me. I've got some crazy things going on inside this head, and, as a growing woman of God, I'm trying to deal them all out and make a foundation for what I'd like to consider my future as a servant of Christ.

So, I'm here at the end of what may be my first, or last, web blog. I would probably write more, but there is a 6 page rough draft lying somewhere in my head that needs to be printed out. God bless...